Среда, 22.11.2017, 12:08
Приветствую Вас Гость | RSS
Главная | Humor in English - Форум | Регистрация | Вход
Меню сайта
Наш опрос
Кто вы?
Всего ответов: 341
Форма входа
Друзья сайта
Статистика
Viking_World
[ Новые сообщения · Участники · Правила форума · Поиск · RSS ]
Страница 1 из 11
Форум » Общение » Юмор » Humor in English
Humor in English
VikingДата: Четверг, 23.04.2015, 13:26 | Сообщение # 1
Admin
Группа: Администраторы
Сообщений: 1070
Репутация: 4
Статус: Offline
Lucky driver

A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.

The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."

His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."

Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"
 
VikingДата: Четверг, 23.04.2015, 13:28 | Сообщение # 2
Admin
Группа: Администраторы
Сообщений: 1070
Репутация: 4
Статус: Offline
A Lady goes to the Doctor for help with her sex life..

Doctor: Give your husband viagra.

Lady: I can't, he hates pills.

Doctor: Just put it in his coffee.

Next week she returns, unhappy.

Doctor: Was it good?

Lady: It was the worst one I ever had. He had a few sips of coffee, then he pushed everything off the table and did it right then and there.

Doctor: Well, then what's wrong?

Lady: I'll never be able to show my face at Starbucks again
 
VikingДата: Четверг, 23.04.2015, 14:29 | Сообщение # 3
Admin
Группа: Администраторы
Сообщений: 1070
Репутация: 4
Статус: Offline
One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn't walk to church.

The preacher said, ''If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you.''

So the old woman put one hand on the radio and one hand on her heart.

The old man tried to not let the old woman see but he put one hand on the radio and one hand on his private.

The old woman looked over and said, ''He said he could heal, not raise the dead!''
 
Форум » Общение » Юмор » Humor in English
Страница 1 из 11
Поиск:
Бесплатный хостинг uCozCopyright MyCorp © 2017